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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23926603">You're Good to Him.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mftrashmouth/pseuds/mftrashmouth'>mftrashmouth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shameless (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Depressed Ian Gallagher, Depression, Hurt Ian Gallagher, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Sad Ian Gallagher, Sad Mickey Milkovich, Scared Mickey Milkovich, fiona and mickey feels, fiona tries to comfort Mickey, mickey admits he was wrong, mickey and ian never broke up in 5x12 au, post 5x12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:29:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,466</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23926603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mftrashmouth/pseuds/mftrashmouth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>5x12 breakup never happened AU</p><p>Mickey thought he could take care of Ian and his bipolar disorder. He was wrong. </p><p>aka Mickey feels like he let Ian down and Fiona tries to comfort him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ian Gallagher &amp; Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, mickey - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You're Good to Him.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I didn’t really decide what season/point in the storyline this would occur in so let’s just say its an AU where Gallavich don’t break up in 5x12 and Mickey doesn’t end up in prison.</p><p>TW - Mentions of bipolar disorder, depression, suicide, suicidal thoughts</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I took him to the hospital this morning’.” If you asked Fiona to give you a list of all of the people she expected to call her this afternoon, Mickey Milkovich was definitely not at the top.</p><p>“Huh?” Fiona flicked ash off of her cigarette, leaning against the railing of the back porch steps.</p><p>“Ian. I took him to the hospital.” Mickey repeated and a thick silence hung in the air.</p><p>“You were right. I couldn’t take care of him, I just gave him false hope and fucked him up even more.” Mickey cringed at the way his voice slightly cracked as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.</p><p>“Mickey, he’s sick. You did the right thing okay?” Fiona tried to comfort him, despite the slight resentment she held for being right about Mickey not being able to handle his bipolar.</p><p>“I failed him. I fuckin’ failed him. I was being a selfish prick and now, he’s stuck in some psych ward because I thought I could help him.” Mickey had truly underestimated the severity of Ian’s conditions. He had thought he’d seen him at his lowest, but he was wrong.</p><p>“You’re not selfish Mickey. If you were selfish, you wouldn’t have taken him to the hospital, you would’ve kept trying to take care of him. You did the right thing.” Fiona may have not gotten along very well with Mickey, considering their limited and infrequent interaction but she appreciated how much he cared about her younger brother, no matter how long it took him to admit it.</p><p>“How long is he in there for?” Fiona filled the silence between the two upon Mickey not responding, a cloud of smoke co-mingling with the warmth of her breath in the unforgiving Chicago winter air surrounding her.</p><p>“90 days, give or take.” Mickey’s voice was low and Fiona could almost feel his embarrassment and self hatred through the phone.</p><p>“Can we visit?” Fiona hadn’t seen much of Ian since he and Mickey became official, apart from the last time his bipolar took over. She missed him.</p><p>“Yeah, just not for the next 72 hours. They want him settling’ in and shit.” </p><p>“Okay, we can go on Thursday then.” Fiona wondered if it was weird going with Mickey to visit Ian, but she knew all of the Gallagher siblings would want to see him eventually, and she wanted to suss out the severity of the situation first.</p><p>“Aight, see you then.” Mickey agreed before hanging up.</p><p>Fiona sighed, finally giving into the coldness of the steps nipping at her face, her cigarette failing to keep her warm. She trudged inside and shrugged off her coat, heading to the fridge for a beer. Pulling out her phone, she hesitated, before sighing.</p><p>What the hell?</p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Mickey’s phone buzzed in his pocket, as he lit his fourth cigarette of the hour, which was clenched between his teeth.</p><p>It had only been a couple hours, but he was really starting to miss the redhead, despite hardly seeing him over the past few days. He knew that Ian had a problem, an illness. And that it wasn’t his fault. He just never realised how intense and demanding it would be, and how much it affected both Ian and those around him. He thought that last episode, when he ran off with Monica, was the worst it could get. Boy, was he wrong.</p><p>The manic episode seemed less intense, but maybe that was because he could understand what was going on now. However, Ian still stayed up until sunrise, frequenting the Milkovich house at strange hours, sneaking out in the middle of the night. He spent most of his paychecks on frivolous things, spoke too fast and smiled more than Mickey had seen him do in 3 months. But the depression, he had never seen Ian so low. </p><p>He slept at least 16 hours a day. The other 8, he just laid in bed, staring blankly at a wall. He didn’t eat for 3 days and hardly drank anything either, not until Mickey had to force some water down his throat, afraid he would dehydrate even more. He left the bed maybe twice every few days at most, only to use the bathroom, showering once every 3 days. </p><p>Mickey had seen that before though. It still hit him like a tonne of bricks to see his boyfriend in such a state, but it wasn’t as new to him anymore. It wasn’t until Ian started to ‘perk up’ as Mickey might’ve put it and spent only 12 hours sleeping, and left bed at least once every two days. However, Mickey couldn’t help but notice how he never seemed really there, as if his mind was far away from where he sat on the couch, picking at a piece of toast Mickey had forced into his hands. This worried Mickey, but he ultimately decided it was better than him sleeping all day and not even leaving their room.</p><p>At least that was the case until Mickey woke one morning to find Ian absent from his side. In a panic, he bolted up and sprinted out of their room, calling out Ian’s name frantically. His blood ran cold as he arrived at the kitchen at the sight before him.</p><p>Ian was standing at the counter, one hand clutching the linoleum and the other, wrapped around a large kitchen knife. His arm was overturned, his pale skin casting a harsh contrast against the light pink lines left from the indent of the blade being pressed against his skin, however not yet pulled. </p><p>“Ian.” Mickey spoke cautiously, afraid that if he made any sudden movement, Ian would lash out.</p><p>“Ian, put the knife down.” He was beyond bewildered as to how Ian got his hands on a weapon, considering he and Mandy practically baby-proofed the place only a few weeks prior.</p><p>“Ian, put the fuckin’ knife down.” The panic was desperate in his voice now as Ian failed to respond.</p><p>“Please.” Mickey’s voice was but a whisper now, beyond terrified at the prospect of what his boyfriend was going to do.</p><p>“I’m too much.” Ian’s voice was hoarse, alluding to the fact he had been crying despite Mickey not being able to see his face.</p><p>“I’m too much,” he repeated, “and you deserve better.” </p><p>Mickey’s heart ached at Ian’s claim.</p><p>“Don’t tell me what I fuckin’ deserve Gallagher, I don’t give a shit if you think you’re too much. I don’t. Just, please, put the knife down.” Mickey stepped closer, contemplating the probability of him grabbing the knife from Ian with little struggle.</p><p>It was almost impossible.</p><p>“Mick, I can’t keep doing this to you.” Ian lifted his face, his red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes meeting Mickey’s terrified ones, his pupils dilated.</p><p>“I need to fix this. I need to let you move on.” Ian’s knuckles were turning white as he tightened his grip on the knife’s handle, drawing it closer to his skin.</p><p>“I love you Ian. I don’t want to move on and you don’t have to fix anything okay? Even if you did something stupid, like you’re about to, I wouldn’t fuckin’ move on okay?” Mickey’s mind filtered back to a similar conversation they had a few months prior, where he admitted he loved Ian, despite his illness.</p><p>“Just, please put it down, and we can talk about this.” He might have sounded like a pussy, but he didn’t give a shit. Because right now, all he could care about was Ian’s safety. </p><p>It seemed as if Mickey had finally gotten through to Ian, as his grip loosened on the knife and it dropped to the floor, the sound of the metal hitting the tile reverberating through the rest of the house. </p><p>Suddenly, Ian let out a huge sob and crumpled to the ground, bringing his knees to his chest. Mickey all but dove down beside him, slinging the knife across the floor and kneeling beside him as tears started to make their way down his face. </p><p>Ian’s cries grew louder, as if something had broken inside of him and the zombie-like state he had been in for the past few days dissolved. </p><p>“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Ian choked out repeatedly as he buried his face into the crook of Mickey’s neck, who just wrapped his arms around his distraught boyfriend.</p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Mickey’s eyes were brimming with tears as his mind came back into the present, where he stood in the kitchen of the empty house. The knife which Ian had somehow found remained on the floor, the reflection from the overhead light catching on the blade. </p><p>Mickey pulled his phone out his pocket, and almost choked when he saw the message.</p><p>New message from Fiona: Thank you for taking care of him. You’re good to him.</p>
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